Who knew menopause could be like this?
If you had told me 10 years ago where I’d be now, I would never have believed you. I wasn’t a particularly hormonal teenager, I didn’t have problematic periods… I was on the combined pill for years with no problems…I had two children in my thirties. All straightforward stuff really. I did have hormonally linked migraines which blighted my life on a regular basis from the age of 18, but other than that I had a relatively unremarkable health record.
I enjoyed my forties. Life was pretty good on the whole… we had new neighbours who we socialised with all of the time and I felt great.
At around the age of 47 I remember having one of the best years of my life…. little did I know that at 48 I would plummet to my very worst year! I didn’t twig that I was probably perimenopausal…. it wasn’t even a term I was that familiar with, if I’m honest. I soon became introverted, anti-social, paranoid, and had severe mood swings. At 49 I sat my lovely husband down and suggested perhaps he’d be better off without me. I had no libido whatsoever… I had always been incredibly attracted to him, but suddenly even the smell of him could turn me off and if we did make love, I was definitely going through the motions with no real desire or satisfaction. I felt completely numb and I felt there was no joy in life. I’d always been a positive, happy person, confident and sociable. I didn’t recognise myself! Luckily, my husband reassured me that even if we never had sex again, he wasn’t going anywhere.
One day I felt so low I sat in a field scrolling through every contact in my phone, desperate to speak to somebody, but I had a reason why every single person wouldn’t want to speak to me. I thought even the Samaritans would not want to talk to me. In the end I rang my Mum and chatted as if everything was alright, and eventually the desperate feelings subsided.
That was my catalyst. I asked my GP for HRT, and within 2 weeks I felt the old me start to emerge. It was like welcoming an old friend. I’d had all manner of other symptoms, like night time hot flushes, restless legs, thinning hair, and poor sleep, but for me, the flat-lining mood was the worst.
I started on Tibolone, a tablet form of HRT but then after a while tried oestrogen gel, which gave me a lot of headaches, as it’s not a steady release of oestrogen. Then I tried patches and have steadily increased my dose to the point at 56, still having periods, I’m finally in a good place most of the time. I’m also on testosterone as my libido still wasn’t back to my old levels, and 6 months in, I’m finally getting there!
I’ve left a lot of my story out… during the time from being 49 to 55 both my parents developed dementia. I lost my Mum last year. Had I not been on HRT I definitely would not have coped with stress and heartache.
One of Mum’s carers, Chrissy, asked me one day if I’d be interested in helping her set up a Menopause Support Group…. we had often bemoaned our very different but equally challenging experiences of the Menopause. I immediately said yes, even though it was not something I’d ever have seen myself doing.
The company she works for, Home Instead, offered to sponsor us for 6 months, to cover the costs of hall hire and basic refreshments. A year ago we set up MenoPals Sully, a support group where local women can meet in person once a month to not only share their experiences with one another, but we get speakers in on a vast range of topics from HRT to diet and holistic therapies, so they can learn ways to help alleviate their symptoms.
The group has proved to be a resounding success… we regularly have around 15-20 women who are so enthusiastic and grateful for the support and knowledge they are gaining from attending. We also set up a Facebook group also called MenoPals Sully, and have over 170 members. Home Instead have extended their sponsorship of our group, something we are so grateful for, as it means we can offer our services for free of charge. We have a Menopause specialist GP who also helps answer questions our members may have.
My Menopause has opened up so many doors to me. I am enjoying helping other women as I don’t want any other woman going through the low period I went through, feeling so alone. I have gained new confidence, new friends, a much better understanding of the Menopause and feel finally in charge of my own health and wellbeing.
There are loads of great websites, podcasts and books available, so arm yourself with a greater understanding of what your body is going through (it’s actually a fascinating subject!) and make you life the best it can be. My life is SO much better than it was 7 years ago! Diet and exercise are vitally important for women approaching and going through the Menopause, so find something you can enjoy (for me it is pilates and dance with the odd exercise class thrown in for good measure).
I’ve also learned I can’t eat the same way I always have, as my body now metabolises food differently… I’ve increased my protein intake, I take a collagen supplement as well as taking a few vitamins (magnesium and Vitamin D are particularly important), and I make sure I have down time when I’m feeling tired. Luckily, I sleep well and I’m not bothered by alcohol, as that is another thing we women don’t metabolise well at this stage in life. I have the odd G&T, but I rarely drink more than a few units a week.
If I could get one point across to those who are reluctant to go on HRT because of the link with breast cancer, it is this - if you are obese or drink 2 units of alcohol a night, your risk would be higher than mine, as these are higher risk factors than HRT. Furthermore, HRT helps protect you against heart disease, osteoporosis, bowel cancer and dementia!
The Balance app (free) is an excellent source of information on the Menopause and you can log your symptoms on their tracker and take it to your doctor, to ask for HRT. Unfortunately, we still are influenced by an out-dated study and report from 20 years ago… the new types of body identical HRT available do not carry the same risks, and actually for the majority of women, the benefits outweigh the risks.
I’d say to any woman reading this, join a group, talk to your friends, find solutions rather than accepting your symptoms as something you just have to endure. There IS help out there.
Meet Emma:
“I am a 56 year old mother of two strapping young men, with a lovely husband, gorgeous Cockapoo, and at last a zest for life! I still have monthly fluctuations, as my periods haven’t stopped yet (please!) but most days I get up glad to be alive. I have Co-founded a Menopause Support Group to help other women, and I get enormous satisfaction from doing so! We welcome all women into our group, so please look us up on Facebook… your rosy future starts here.”
Share Your Story
Do you have a story to share? By partnering together, I hope to share a variety of lived experiences related to living with/through hormone or health issues.
