MAKING YOURSELF A PRIORITY, by Sarah Hall
I work with people that want to create more of what they want in their lives, and to have the best possible experience of their lives. I became a life coach because coaching helped me to do just that.
And something important that I’ve learnt, is that whatever changes you want to make in your life, whatever difficulties you want to overcome, and whatever you want to achieve, there is a vital first step that you have to take. And that’s making yourself a priority.
If you skip this step, there will always be other things that come ahead of you and what you want. Things that you have to do first. Other people that you have to take care of. Responsibilities at work and at home that have to be met. And the change that you want, the experience that you want, the life that you want, will always be just out of reach.
Making myself a priority was what made the difference for me. It’s what moved me out of over-working, feeling stressed, always rushing, never fully resting, and living on the edge of burnout. It’s what set me on my way to a work-life that I love, more fun, friendship and connection in my relationships, and improvements in my wellbeing that at one time I thought were impossible – now in my mid-40s, I’m physically and emotionally healthier that I’ve ever been.
It's also what makes the difference for my clients. You have to make you and your own wellbeing, your own personal development, your own life, a priority in order to invest in coaching – to invest in yourself. It’s the first step; it’s what sets them on their way to creating the results they want in their career or business, their relationships, or their wellbeing.
So how do we take this important first step? How do you make yourself a priority? Read on for my best advice.
Take the decision
Making yourself a priority is a decision. And decisions are powerful. They’re what creates change.
Decisions also only take a moment. You can take the decision today. You can decide right now to make yourself a priority. To put you and your needs, and what you want, first.
Imagine the difference it would make to your life if you decided and committed to you being the most important thing, always, in every situation. How different things would be if you put yourself first. If you didn’t put your kids, or your partner, or your parents, or your business, or your job, or your to-do list, ahead of what you want and need.
Once you’ve taken the decision to make yourself a priority, what to do next becomes much clearer. You can make all the day-to-day decisions about what to do and what not to do, through the filter of what is best for you.
Let it be uncomfortable
When you decide to make yourself a priority, you’re saying yes to yourself. And this usually means starting to say no to other people and other things. It might mean not doing all the things that you’re used to doing, or that other people are used to you doing, and this can feel pretty uncomfortable.
It goes against all of our social programming to put ourselves first. From a young age we are giving strong messages, whether overtly or more subtlety, that we should be as productive as possible and take care of other people, and that to take care of ourselves is selfish and indulgent. And this messaging is particularly strong for those of us socialised as women.
So when we do things for ourselves, they don’t always feel as amazing as we imagined they might. We might start resting more, doing more things that we like, and it might not always feel really good. We might feel guilty. We might feel like we should be doing something else. We might be tempted to give up – to not bother. To stop resting because it doesn’t feel like it’s helping. To stop doing what we want because it feels more stressful than just running round doing what everybody else wants us to do.
And when this happens – if it doesn’t feel great at first, the thing to do is to keep going! We have to be willing to get through that part. To allow it to be uncomfortable and feel rubbish. To stay with it until it doesn’t feel as new, or as strange, or as uncomfortable. Until it just becomes who you are and how you do things. And you really start to see and feel the benefits. Which you will, and it will be SO worth it.
Get support
Making yourself a priority is an important shift. It’s important work to be doing. And it is challenging. So get yourself whatever support you can.
Support can come in all kinds of forms. Ask yourself what support you have available to you and what additional support you can find.
Ask the people in your life for support. This might be practical support – doing some of those things that you’re not going to do anymore or not as often. It might be emotional support – someone to talk to about the changes your making and the bits that are difficult.
Think about who you’re spending time with and surround yourself with like-minded people that also want to create positive change in their lives. The support of a community can be incredibly valuable.
Read and listen to things that support you in the change that your making. If you want to hear more about my personal story with coaching, you can listen to a podcast interview I did with my first coach Maisie Hill here.
And of course, working with a coach is the ultimate in dedicated, 1:1 support. Connect with me if you want to find out more about what I offer and how I could help.
Meet Sarah
“I'm a life coach, and I help my clients to create more of what they want in their lives, and to have the best possible experience of their lives.”
“I help people with any and all areas of their lives - business and career, family and relationships, health and wellbeing, and everything in between, and usually a bit of a combination of everything.
In my previous career, I spent more than 20 years working in the charity sector, including 10 years as the CEO of a relationships charity. I started working with a life coach in 2020 and have completely transformed my experience of my life. Now a certified coach myself, I help my clients to do the same.
I live in Chester with my husband and our two young kids.”
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